If I have one reservation about coffee games, it’s this: they don’t have much of a purpose. This is often by design. Games like Coffee Talk are heavier on conversation than Coffee and newer offerings Good coffee Great coffee have goals, but without any real consequences if you don’t achieve them. Which is great if you want your game to be low stakes.
But sometimes you want a little something extra in your coffee video games. Maybe you need a little excitement, something to get your blood pumping, just touch. Maybe you need to be a coffee mascot running from zombies. That’s what it is for A strange brewand is now available on Steam.
Strange Brew is described as a “cinematic 3D action platformer with intense chase scenes reminiscent of a zombie movie.” You play as Joe, a person in a giant duck costume for the mega coffee chain MoonDucks. After the company’s terrible Pumpkin Spice Latte experiment goes wrong and turns everyone who drinks it into a zombie, Joe must escape the horde and his only option is to kick.
And yes, MoonDucks is a thinly veiled version of Starbucks. The moon versus the stars, ducks versus goats. Pumpkin spice latte, green cups. The fact that both mascots are land-sea hybrids. And despite all the criticism I have lobbied at Starbucks over the years, I have never once suggested that it is/will be responsible for the end of humanity. That’s why I think an apology is deserved. (Although we did predict the Pumpkin Spicepocalypse.)
To escape, Joe must creatively apply the environment to escape, distract him (by throwing coffee), or kill the crowd of zombies. To maintain his power, Joe must find coffee cups scattered around the maps that will allow him to run faster and jump higher. Managing your caffeine levels while avoiding consuming your brain only increases your stress levels, and that’s all part of the fun. Fun in the same way that being high on caffeine is fun.
I haven’t played the entire game yet, so I can’t say for sure whether the main bad guy is a corporate executive named Harold Schitz, who tries to subdue Joe by squirting Oleato all over him (Oleato is gone, but not forgotten). And when will we get the Buzzy and/or Spesh mod? I mean, now there are some coffee mascots that look like they’re having fun during the zombie apocalypse.
Strange Brew is currently available on Steam for $14.99, with a 10% discount until February 25. For more information, visit Strange Brew’s official website.
