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Today is January 20thvolwhich means we almost get through an entire month of the year without raising an eyebrow in disbelief at all the machinations Starbucks gets up to in an attempt to gain cultural relevance. But now we’ve been treated to Starbucks’ quirky novel couture collection, which includes Hypebeast and Oasis’ nepo baby.

In Hypebeast article“Presented by Starbucks®,” they call it a “cultural initiative” curated in collaboration with Sarah Andelman, artistic director of the now-closed Paris fashion/streetwear concept store Colette (founded by her mother Colette Roussaux), as well as the curator behind Just an idea books.

The capsules are said to “serve as an outlet for artistic expression, drawing inspiration from Milan’s inherent café culture” and will include “a series of projects featuring brands, designers and artists.” Result? “Vital clothing and lifestyle products” and lots of gloomy greenery.

The first premieres will include three collaborations with the artist Luke Zanotto and Italian brands, such as a manufacturer of waterproof clothing Dear Kwinter sports brand Nordicand dog clothing designer Poldo Dog Couture. Dog fashion. I’ve never spent $500 on a down vest for my dog, but honestly, I didn’t even know it was an option.

There is, of course, a green down vest for your pooch, Nordica skis (also green), a K-Way windbreaker, some playing cards, mugs and Gene Gallagher, who is the child of Oasis co-founder Liam Gallagher. Part of Gene’s campaign involves him standing there looking like he’s from Oasis, mostly next to Starbucks branded equipment, but never for some reason. Except for the dog vest. It makes sense that he’s not wearing it.

The collection was launched during Milan Men’s Fashion Week and is now available at the Starbucks Reserve Roastery in Piazza Cordusio.

So this is how we ‘reinvent coffee culture’, eh? (Hypebeast’s words, not mine.) Fancy dog ​​jackets and skis that are made with who exactly in mind, I don’t know. Maybe a masochist who gets annoyed with people making fun of them on snowy peaks. If you think that representing Starbucks in the Dolomites will win you over with the locals, you’ve got another thing coming.

I mean, sure, they could move the needle on the broader coffee culture by ratifying union contracts that have been in the works for four years, or falsifying the name of every drink to phony it, or releasing a transparency report. They have the power to do all this, and the impact of these actions would be significant and would extend far beyond their own coffee shops. But why do it when there is – and I cannot express this strongly enough – dog fashion.

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